                         LIMITED TIME GUARANTEE

All programs and utilities are hereby guaranteed to be free from defects
in workmanship and programming for a period of one (1) minute after
initial release.  After that, you must refer below to the fully limited
lifetime warranty.  This guarantee does not cover damage due to
accident, misuse, abuse, negligence, or incompetence.  We are not
responsible for any incidental or consequential damage which might occur
as a result of the explicit or implicit use of these programs, including
and not to exclude the possible complete destruction of all software on
said machine, including said machine itself, along with the building
containing said machine, and various parts of the surrounding country side. 
This guarantee is valid only in the United States, except for southern
California, and only between the hours of 8:00 AM and 5:00 PM whenever
we feel like it.  Void where prohibited. 


                    FULLY LIMITED LIFETIME WARRANTY
In the event one of our utilities does not function properly due to 
faulty workmanship or programming logic, we will:

1.  For a period of one month after initial release, we will listen to 
    your complaints and smile politely, occasionally nodding the head as 
    if in agreement.

2.  For a period of one year after initial release, we will supply, at 
    no charge to the user, sympathy and commiseration over any component 
    of a program found to be inadequate.

This warranty gives you specific rights, and you may have other rights 
which vary from state to state.  i.e. the state (of mind) you are in may 
affect the intensity of our sympathy.

